From workaholic to world traveler

How do I love thee Yokyo? Let me count the ways. I love your A5 Grade Wagyu Beef and the way that you grill it perfectly over open charcoal. I love your impossibly silent, clean and timely train systems. I love your clean streets, even though you have no garbage cans. And finally, I love your Toto Toilets that will make the concept of toilet paper seem archaic and frankly gross in the near future.

I spent 4 full days in Tokyo and as I write this, it’s the 5th day, and I’m on my way to the airport, headed to Seoul. I’ve experienced a lot here, so to keep things clean, I think that it’s best to categorize my observations rather than a chronological rundown which may be messy.

Culture

If we listened to everything our parents told us and never questioned them, we would be Tokyo. You have to see the people here, and how rigidly structured everything and everyone is. I think that the best representation of this concept is the fact that the majority of people wear surgical masks in public; they are so rigid that they will not even allow the slightest germ that they didn’t plan on being exposed to. I know that this seems critical, but there is something pretty cool and interesting about it, even though I likely tested the patience of some locals during my trip. There was one instance of (loudly) drinking amazing Japanese whisky out of the bottle on the train with some new friends and another circumstance when I ordered something off-menu and made my tour guide 1 minute late to our next stop, of which she was profusely apologetic for. Lucky for me, they are entirely too polite to call me out for it.

On my last day, I was originally considering taking the bullet train to Osaka, but when I woke up, I decided that I was more interested in the train ride than I was the destination. I changed course and decided to check out their city famous for electronics, called Electric Town in Akihabara. Ironically, it wasn’t the electronics that intrigued me. It was their oddly themed cafes that piqued my interest. I saw a cafe where you can play with various animals like cats or hedgehogs, which I had no interest in. The theme that was most prevalent in the city were ‘Maid Cafes’. In these cafes, young women in revealing maid outfits treat you as their master, laugh at your jokes, play connect-four with you and generally make you feel good about yourself. I saw a range of customers from odd-looking young people, to a refined looking older gentleman. From my perspective it seemed degrading for both parties, but hey, what the hell do I know? They connected me with their maid that speaks English, a really nice African American girl from Delaware. Apparently she works on the army base and moonlights as a maid server. You know how some restaurants get their servers to act out some silly elaborate birthday song? This was like that, times ten. They sing, they play interactive childish games with the customer and even bless your drink. At first I was mortified for her and tried to treat her as an intelligent adult, but she explained how she was into cosplay and she actually enjoys it and finds it empowering. Supposedly some of these servers have quite the fan base that shower them with gifts and such. All in, it was a surreal experience that is far beyond my limited brain power.

After leaving the maid cafe, I stopped by some of the stores and saw evidence of more bizarre male behavior. I always knew that anime erotica was a big thing out here, but I didn’t realize how big it actually is. I’d love to ask a psychologist what would make a man be attracted to a cartoon when pornography with real people is so easily accessible. Can cartoons truly be better than live human beings? While I don’t entirely understand sexuality and perversion in the USA, I’m absolutely lost on this one. I’m choosing to insert the least offensive picture that I took in this regard – trust me, I have much worse.

Unrelated to perversion, something that I appreciated about their culture is that tipping is non-existent. Restaurants pay their staff a normal wage and attempting to tip may even be considered rude or uncouth. While I like to consider myself a good tipper (18-20%), I do resent how every bill has a tip line on it, regardless of whether or not you received a generally tipped service like waiter/waitress service. I think that the concept was borne out of servers going way above and beyond the call of duty and patrons giving them extra for the exemplary service. Now it’s gotten perverted to the point that wait staff don’t even get paid and they are exclusively reliant on tips. The restaurants employ the waitstaff – not the customers. And as such, they should be responsible for payment of their wages. If paying your staff isn’t built in to their business model, raise your prices to accommodate, because it ought to be. I’d like to rebel against the tipping culture, but I also don’t want to be an asshole to poor waiters. Catch-22. Score 1 for Japan. I even asked my American ‘maid cafe’ waitress if I could tip her, but she refused.

My last, kinda innocuous observation is that I can’t escape Tommy Lee Jones in Tokyo. He’s hawking some drink and its ads are everywhere. I can’t get his face out of my mind.

Companionship

As an adult, I tend to have my close-knit group of old friends and rarely do I make close new friends at this point in my life. I think that I’m in the majority in this respect, although this would not serve me well for a month abroad. Frankly, with many of my friends getting married and having kids, it probably won’t serve me at home in the long term either. I knew that being solitary for a month could be maddening, so I was prepared to go outside of my comfort zone.

On the Saturday before departing, I had a long conversation about Tinder with my roommate over breakfast, and while I’d always considered myself ‘too good’ for online dating, I decided use the Bezos principal that I’ve employed in the past, ‘Disagree, but commit’. The concept behind this phrase is that you’re not always in control of everything, and even if you disagree with something that you have to do, commit to the task and attempt to make it work. The first time that I used it was when I was approached about moving my former office out of New York City. I didn’t like the sound of it, but I committed to make it work. In this case, I’d prefer to meet someone organically, but this seems to be how modern people meet, so I was going to commit to it. I even purchased a higher tier membership for the month that I was abroad. Additionally, I booked several group tours with the hopes of meeting some like-minded folks to hang out with.

In practice, I ended up making a bunch of friends and I think that they enhanced my Tokyo experience exponentially. On my first full day, I booked a half-day bus tour of Tokyo. Honestly, the tour kinda sucked, but I made friends with 2 guys that I hung out with a lot on the trip. There was Dr. Dan from from Hawaii and Frank, a sales director from Florida. Fun fact about Frank- he’s 57 and is dating a 24 year old back home. Personally, I think that my ideal age gap for me would be 33-28, but bless him for keeping up with her, even though he’s older than her parents. The 3 of us painted the town red, with some public drinking (had a bottle of excellent Japanese whisky on the train), outrageously excellent food, and we even went to see a ‘robot cabaret show’ together. In practice, it sounds a bit cooler than it actually was and we bailed early. Frank was there for work, so we only hung out on day 2, but Dr. Dan and I were partners in crime for a few days, and shared some great meals and thought provoking experiences. I was really glad to have met them and I hope to stay in touch with them afterwards.

My next tour was a group Izakaya (Pub) Crawl in Shibuya. Ironically enough, the tour group only consisted of me and the tour guide, a sweet 20 year old Japanese college student named Marina. She’s studying English education, so communication was fairly easy.

We went to 3 izakayas, and in each we had some drinks and small plates, similar to tapas. The standout to me was a beef sushi dish at the 2nd stop that they cooked with a small blowtorch for maybe 3 seconds.

Being Japanese, Marina was on a strict timetable and attempted to get to each of the stops *exactly* on time. At the 2nd stop, I threw a monkey-wrench into her plans by ordering off-menu Wagyu, which caused her to be a few minutes late to stop #3. That said, she and I shared it, and she really loved it. I don’t get the impression that college students drop that much coin on dinner in general, so I think it was unique for her too. While she may have enjoyed it, you can tell that she was mortified for being late to the next stop. Obviously I would have preferred to be with a group, but it was cool to see what it’s like to hang out with a Japanese college girl for the evening. I don’t think that Japanese people generally relish interacting with foreigners (gaijin – like gringo), so it was a cool experience for me.

I actually found my Tinder experience to be addicting, albeit with mixed results. I found time flying by whilst swiping up a storm. My first Tinder date was actually a double date with Dr. Dan that started out amazing, got really shitty and then ultimately ended up positively (in my opinion).

We met these 2 tall and beautiful Brazilian women at my amazing hotel bar on the 45th floor of the Ritz Carlton – it had spectacular views of the whole city and was generally a perfect setting for our first Tinder date. We had a few drinks and all signs were positive – we seemed to be hitting it off with them.

A few glasses of wine in, when the bar was closing, the girls recommended that we take the party to their favorite Brazilian bar, a few blocks away. This is where the night swiftly transitioned from amazing to trainwreck. As soon as we got to the bar, I noticed that the drink pricing was way higher than I’d seen in the area. It wasn’t a particularly nice place and it was basically empty, so there should be no rationale for these pricy drinks. At that point, my proverbial spidey-senses were tingling. When the girls wanted to go to the VIP area with Karaoke and order an $800 bottle of champagne, we *knew* that we were stuck in a honey trap. We obviously couldn’t communicate our suspicions verbally for fear of killing the buzz, but Dr. Dan and I shot each other a knowing glance, both of us having come to the same conclusion. The way that this particular type of scam works is that the predator ingratiates themselves with prey that they deem to have deep pockets, and then take them to their ‘favorite bar’, run up a huge bar tab and then split the proceeds with the bar owner.

As a quick aside, as a man, we are hard wired to attempt to show women (especially new, attractive ones) that we can provide for them and the idea of denying a pretty girl champagne due to price is against every fiber of our being. I think that the average guy would rather lose his rent money than let a girl know that he couldn’t afford a simple bottle of champagne.

Back to the story. While entirely non-verbal, Dr. Dan and I we were able to communicate with one another, and decide on the best course of action. I am very proud to say that we ultimately decided to tell the girls that it was late and we scurried out of there rapidly, never to speak to them again. I feel extremely prideful in the fact that my brain beat out the dumber part of my anatomy that night; especially considering that I’d already had a few drinks. That was the night of day 2.

On the day 4, I had my 2nd Tinder date with a Japanese woman, although I started out extremely gun-shy due to Tinder date #1. I even went as far as to not bring my wallet and only have a limited amount of cash, just in case I encountered a similar situation. Ultimately we had a really nice time and she didn’t order a $1k bottle of champagne.

All in, I’m very happy with the friends that I made in Tokyo and the shared experiences that we were able to have. I shared great meals, drinks, played pool and a girl even thought me how to play darts. I beat her, by the way. I even learned a few valuable life lessons in the process. I hope to be as successful in the latter stages of my trip as I have been in Tokyo.

The Food and Booze

When planning this trip, I knew that I was going to dig Tokyo’s food scene, so I made it one of the longest stops of my trip. They didn’t disappoint. That said, I kinda wish that I had an appreciation for sushi, because I understand that it is almost an art form here.

The rockstars of Japanese cuisine were the (1) high grade wagyu beef, (2) their delicious charcoal-grilled chicken pieces called Yakitori, (3) their delicious ramen and last but not least (4) their impossibly smooth and rich Japanese whisky that I love so much.

It’s tough to say, but I think that my favorite meal was one that I shared with Dr. Dan at a hole-in-the-wall Yakitori spot called Jomon Roppongi. The small, smokey restaurant requires that you take off your shoes and sit on their tiny, communal benches. It was an epic meal and if I had a spot like that at home, I’d be there every week. We started out with some sake and proceeded to order copious amounts of food. Our first dish was actually raw beef, marinated in something magical, and it started out the meal so well.

We then got beef skewers of skirt steak, A5 grade sirloin, short ribs, tongue and others.

We also ordered a few chicken skewers including heart and liver.

I had never heard of the grading system of beef in Japan, but apparently the letter corresponds to how much meat from the cow met their standard, and the number corresponds to the quality of the meat and fat marbling. Upon biting into this A5 Sirloin skewer, an explosion of amazing salty, fatty and delicious flavors happened in my mouth. High grade meat like that generally comes in tiny portions, but for the few bites that I had, it was sheer nirvana. The other skewers were incredible too, but I’m still fixated on the A5 Sirloin, and I think that Dr. Dan is too. After putting down all of our first order, as well as a bunch of sake, we then went for seconds in the form of cheese skewers, duck and a few others. I never would have imagined cheese kabobs, but the two varieties that we had (smoked cheese and Camembert) were unexpectedly sublime.

My 2nd best meal actually has a place in pop culture. It’s the restaurant from Kill Bill where Uma Thurman kills a bunch of Yakuza in that yellow jumpsuit. The joint is called Gonpachi. Was pretty drunk when I went there and ordered a $100 piece of A5 Wagyu, which turned out to be tiny and amazing. Ate a bunch of other stuff, but the A5 Wagyu took the prize.

There are two other meals that deserve to be mentioned as well as having been exemplary. One was a ramen joint, in which you order from a vending machine which spits out a ticket that you can exchange for food that you eat in tiny individual stalls. I was a little bit hungover when I had it, and it totally hit the spot.

The 2nd was the top-rated pizza joint in Tokyo, Seirinkan. Apparently the chef was trained in Naples and makes some of the best Neapolitan pizza in the world. They only have 2 menu items, margherita (tomato sauce and cheese) and marinara (tomato, garlic, oregano and olive oil). I ordered the marinara, but made friends with some dudes sitting next to me, and we swapped quarters of each of our pizza so that each of us can try the different styles. I think that my choice was better, but both were excellent. In particular, I loved the chewy, oily and delicious crust.

From a booze standpoint, it’s a drinking town and I partook every day that I was there; some nights more than others. I have a penchant for Japanese whisky, so I did some research and went to a nice bar that specializes in the stuff. The place was called Bar Tsurukame. I went during happy hour due so that I can get awesome tastings for minimal cost. Using my handy google translate app, I was able to easily communicate with the vest-wearing old-school bartender, asking him to recommend 5 great Japanese whiskeys, and to give them to me in order of prestige, with the best being last. This was the custom tasting menu that he came up with:

1. Miyagikyo- very good

2. Yoichi- meh

3. Hibiki 17- excellent

4. Taketsuru 21- excellent

5. Miyagikyo Moscatel Wood Finish- excellent, but was a little drunk by then.

I had the Japanese pizza afterwards, which was great after pickling myself with the whiskies.

Conclusion

I really enjoyed Japan and everything that it had to offer. My hotel was the definition of swanky, the food and drinks were amazing, I actually got used to the subways and I had a generally great time. In actuality, I could probably have even stayed longer and explored more. The two items that I regret not doing was (1) taking their bullet train and (2) renting a costume and playing real-life Mario kart on the streets of Tokyo. Apparently I needed an ‘international drivers permit’ so they wouldn’t let me.

My only critique is that I’d like the locals to be a bit more inclusive and for them to have trash bins so that I don’t have to hold my empty coffee cup all day. Also, cabs are super expensive – as in $280 for a cab from the airport to downtown Tokyo.

Off to Seoul!!

The chocolates left in my room