Post #14- Prague, Czech Republic
I like Prague. I like it a lot. Prague is a great destination for nearly anyone. It’s an ancient, beautiful, ornate city with tons of statues, castles and culture. It also happens to be a city of vice, where the average local consumes 30 liters of beer more than anyone else in the world. I took full advantage of the cheap booze and everything else that Prague had to offer.
My tour group has a ton of dinners that are preplanned and prepaid. They are okay places, but they are clearly restaurants catering to large groups of tourists on a budget…not really my thing. In the beginning of my tour I’d gone to these meals because I’d already paid for them and I thought that I’d look like an arrogant dick if I was antisocial and ditched my tour mates for greener pastures. Fortunately, those things don’t really bother me anymore. I’ve come to the obvious realization that one of my favorite things about travel is sampling the best food and drink that the host city has to offer. I fancy myself as an amateur Bourdain.
Back to the trip itself. On the way from Vienna to Prague, we stopped at the only Austrian concentration camp. Rough and somber. Out of deference to the camp, I chose not to take any pictures like a tourist, but the visit definitely gave everyone some insight as to the conditions and struggles that plagued the people involved, including some of my ancestors. Not wanting to be bummed out all day about the Holocaust, I began to watch the Punisher on Netflix and took a nap.
When we got to Prague, our tour leader gave us a walking tour of the (freezing) city. I was very happy to have my electric jacket while everyone else was shivering. The first thing that we saw was a massive and complex astronomical clock in the main square. Apparently the leader at the time appreciated the clock so much that he blinded the clockmaker so as to make sure that nobody else would be able to replicate their clock. This was the 2nd time I’ve heard about a clockmaker being blinded for this reason. Personally, I would probably recommend a different vocation, or at least I wouldn’t take on jobs from crazy people that will blind me afterwards….unless it’s some perverse badge of honor for them.
After seeing some artistic wall dedicated to John Lennon, our tour ended, and I surreptitiously made my swift and sneaky exit from the group. Again, didn’t want to look like a dick that was too good for everyone (even though I clearly am). I’d read about this awesome butcher shop that in addition to providing high-test meat, also can grill it for you with exceedingly basic (but delicious) preparation. They also have awesome, fresh Czech beer on tap. That was to be my first meal. As soon as I walked into the place, I could tell that it was going to be good and wondered why such an establishment didn’t exist in New York. Seems like a really cool concept and I think that it could be hot in NYC for any restauranteurs or aspiring restauranteurs out there. The place had only a few tables and I was lucky to snag one. I knew that I had to try their steak tartare, but I wasn’t entirely sure what I’d wanted for a main. The guys at the shop were awesome and gave me samples of a bunch of different things that they make, including the best sausage that I’d ever had. Ultimately I decided on the steak tartare, a burger and a spicy beef sausage. I also got one of their big beers. I had no intention of finishing everything, and the amount of food that I had exceeded the proportions of the tiny bistro table that I was sitting at. The meal and its accompanying beer was tremendous.
I struck up a conversation with Anna, a girl at the adjacent table, eating a steak tartare and drinking a glass of wine. Coincidentally, it turns out that she’s a Czech translator. She was taken, but she was able to email me a bunch of recommendations for things to do and places to see. Reminder to self- try and meet the type of girl that eats steak tartare and drinks wine after a long day of work.
After dinner, I was determined to sample their famous street-desert, Trdelnik. Luckily, I only needed to eat the thing; not pronounce it. Trdelnik is rolled pastry dough, glazed with sugar and it comes with multiple fillings. These Trdelnik stands are ubiquitous throughout the streets of Prague.
It was late and it was cold and most people would have ended their night there. I opted to go to a cool bar that serves absinthe. Note that most absinthe in Prague is fake – I’m told that the dead giveaway is when they label the spirit as absinth, without the final ‘e’. This place was legit though. The place was called Hemingway Bar and they seemed to employ multilingual, professional bartenders that care about their craft – not just hot chicks that struggle to make a proper old fashioned. The bartender gave me a recommendation for a good local absinthe, along with its history. He reiterated what I’d already known about the myth that you’re supposed to light the absinthe on fire or add sugar. He proceeded to pour me a generous amount of absinthe into a goblet of some sort and filled up an odd looking contraption with ice and a small amount of water. He told me that the ideal proportions would be 1 part absinthe to 2 parts water. He then turned the spigot on his water contraption to release individual freezing drops of water into my absinthe, until the proportions were perfect. I enjoyed a few of those and ultimately stumbled into a cab back to my hotel. All in all, a very enjoyable experience. Note that the place did not appear to be a tourist trap and I felt like a douche taking pictures.
I woke up late the next day, feeling the effects of the absinthe. I needed an awesome breakfast to lift my spirits, so I took a recommendation and went to Cafe Savoy, a ritzy cafe in the heart of Prague. I ordered the French breakfast, which included coffee, juice, french toast and eggs in a croissant. It was frankly awesome and hit the spot.
Satiated, I decided to stroll around town and I came across the Museum of Torture. I saw some brutal pieces, but it wasn’t all that interesting.
After I was all tortured out, I decided to take one of Anna’s suggestions. She’d suggested that I go see Prague Castle and visit a cafe that she called a ‘Lovely café in the cutest street in Prague‘. Getting up to the castle required me to climb in excess of 200 stairs, but I’m now used to climbing mountains, so what the hell. I made my way to her cafe and it may have been the most authentic and non-touristy thing that I’d done for my whole Prague trip. It was a hipster cafe and bakery, with what I imagined to be local freelancers working on their laptops. I was the only person that spoke English, and it gave me a feel for what it’s like to actually live there. Had a nice cappuccino and cake.
Later that evening, I had scheduled a medieval dinner with our group in a basement cellar. I figured that it would be like medieval times in the states and it included unlimited beer, so I figured why not. I came in with limited expectations, but I actually enjoyed myself. The food was solid, the beer was flowing and I really enjoyed the bagpipes performance. They had (hammed-up) staged sword fights, chicks with fire and some live music. Maybe it was the copious amounts of beer that I’d been drinking, but the experience exceeded my expectations.
After leaving the dinner, I stayed out and continued to drink, because that’s what you do in Prague. Oh, and the cabs are super cheap, which is nice.
All in, Prague is a versatile travel destination that I intend to see again. You can go on a romantic trip with a significant other or you can get stupid drunk/high with your friends for cheap and explore all of your darkest vices. It’s not a city that I could live in though.
Off to Berlin!