From workaholic to world traveler

I was only scheduled to be in Slovenia for 20 hours, and I’d anticipated it to be generally uneventful and boring. I am happy to say that I was dead wrong.

Our tour group stayed in Ljubljana, Slovenia’s capital city. En route to Ljubljana, we stopped off at Bled Lake. I was childishly amused by the name. As a former territory of the USSR, I considered the curse word in Russian and referred to it as Whore Lake. Childish, I know, but don’t judge me. The whole area was made up of postcard-worthy views, restaurants, hiking trails and a casino. I joined our group on a hike up a mountain to a castle, presumably so that they can take selfies with a cool backdrop. While technically morbidly obese, I’m happy to report that many of the college-aged Aussies took exhaustion breaks before I did, and with every passed hiker, I felt a little bit better about my own conditioning. Admittedly shallow, but again, don’t judge me. On the way down the mountain, I found my new favorite thing – hot wine!! It combines the tranquility of a tea-drinking experience with a wine drinking buzz. I got a nice buzz while watching children feed the ducks. I felt very zen.

During my zen experience, I researched the best attributes and attractions in Slovenia. Low and behold, Slovenia is actually home to the world’s top female chef. Side-Note: Why is it offensive to call Serena Williams the ‘Best *Female* Tennis Player’, but it’s a compliment to call this woman the ‘Best *Female* Chef’?? Chew on that nugget for a minute. Back to reality – I intended on renting a car and driving the two hours to eat dinner at her restaurant, but when I tried to make reservations, I was told that the restaurant was to be closed for 2 months. Oh well – strike one.

It didn’t take long for our bus to transport us to our hotel in Ljubljana. I found the whole area to be covered in graffiti, including an image of a penis spray-painted on a very nice looking art installation; I guess that we don’t have a monopoly on assholes back home. Ljubljana is a huge college/party town, with many of the students studying tech. They are extremely eco-conscious and don’t allow cars in the downtown area at all. Per reviews, the best rated restaurant in the city was on the top of yet another fucking mountain – but this trail was covered with ice. I leave the walking tour early, intending on climbing my 2nd mountain of the day and arriving to the restaurant an hour before it closes. As you can imagine, I was practically dying after having trekked up, but I knew that it would be a big payoff at the end. Dead wrong again…their kitchen closed 2 hours before the restaurant closed. Strike 2 on dinner, and I scurry down the mountain with my tail between my legs.

There is a concept in Judaism called Hashgacha Pratis, loosely translated as Divine Intervention. Quick aside, but as an admitted terrible Jew, I enjoy ironically using super Jewy phrases, and you should assume that I’m grinning while doing so. I think that the 1st two restaurants being closed was clearly an act of Divine Intervention, because I stumbled upon a 3rd restaurant called Manna, which goes well with my whole Divine Intervention claim. This restaurant and the meal that I had there deserves its own paragraph(s), so I will insert a paragraph break here.

Manna is a fusion restaurant in Ljubljana, combining traditional Slovenian cuisine with Mediterranean cuisine. Its claim to fame was having fed the former First-Lady, Laura Bush as well as the Queen of England. Now they have a third claim to fame – me. As soon as opened the door, I could tell that I was in for a good meal. Upon opening the menu, I could tell that I was in for a legendary meal. The food looked great and they even served interesting ‘game meats’ like bear. I ultimately opted for a 7 course tasters meal under the meat menu, along with wine and champagne pairings. I asked them to swap out the seafood dishes in favor of meat dishes. Cost was to be no option- I wanted the best of whatever they had to offer. To paint you a picture of this place, the table is candle lit and the cutlery was opulent- I was given 4 forks, 4 knives and 1 massive spoon. I joked with the waiter about not knowing how to even start picking which cutlery went with which course – he jokingly told me to guess. They have a transparent walk-in wine closet.

Here is a listing of the delicious food that was presented to me.

-lentil and onion pate with an onion cracker (gratis, not part of 7 courses)

-lamb tartare with French toast and various cheeses

-purée of onion and garlic soup

-cheese ravioli with veal cheeks

-potato ravioli with bear (I shit you not). My first time eating an animal that can just as easily have been eating me!

-clementine sorbet

-veal fillet in celery pure cauliflower and mushrooms

-desert: included fresh ricotta, cinnamon iced cream and a whole bunch of other stuff

Ultimately, I’ve consciously decided not to choose between my best meal in Rome vs this meal in Slovenia. This would certainly be a more memorable meal though, as I ate a fucking bear.

A quick remark about travel destinations, that may honestly be obvious to most. In order for me to enjoy a destination, the place needs to primarily cater to its locals, not the throngs of tourists. This is something that Slovenia seems to get completely right. I feel like I’m visiting a different country and culture….in direct opposition to my feelings on Venice. Slovenia gets a ton of authenticity points from me.

All in, I dig almost everything about this place. Young professionals, lively social scene, great food, good education…etc. I intend on looking into the cost of real estate here to see if it would be a good investment….I probably won’t do anything about it, but I will forever have fond recollections of this place. My kinda town.